February Tips Family Friends and Entertaining

It is often said that we can pick our friends but not our family. The suggestion is that we are stuck with what we have. As a lady, however, you find this statement offensive regardless of who it applies to. You understand from January's tips that much of how people react to you may be influenced by what you do. Thus, you may have the power to help people be their best. This is what a lady does....or better yet, this is what a lady is. She has the unique capacity to reach out to others, family, friends or strangers. Because she is sure of who she is there is no need to play the usual games of one "upsmanship" in order to inflate her ego by diminishing others. Just as you have learned that you can influence the behavior of others, you will learn in later months that only you can control your reaction to what goes on around you. You may not be able to change events, but you can control how you respond to them.

The second platitude is that you must be a friend to have friends. This is true. Friendship is not a onesided, self serving relationship. So, examine yourself. How do you treat your friends? Is your behavior truely "friendlike".
This may require you to overcome a natural tendency, but you must share your friends with your friends! What we mean by that is you should introduce your friends to each other. Doesn't it make sense that if you get along well enough with someone to be friends that they would get along well with others who are your friends? This in no way diminishes your friendship with either of them. Perhaps it is human nature to be fearful of introducing our friends to each other because we don't want to loose a friend. Well, think about it.
Gratefully, the best way to accomplish our recommendation is to invite friends for a party. You bring them together and introduce them and they can then decide whether they really hit it off.
The more parties you have the more parties you will get invited to. Entertaining is an infectious behavior. When someone sees what fun it is to attend one of your parties, they in turn will want to have one and invite you.
Once again, however, you have a responsibility. If you expect people to come to your events....you must go to theirs. Once there, you behave as the type of guest you would like. In other words, you do everything you possibly can to make their party a success.
Resist the temptation to out do them at your next function. If you have good ideas, share them. By the same token if you have things that would make their party more festive or elegant, you must offer them.
Recognize that this is their party and they may want to do it entirely on their own without your advise. As long as you have made a sincere offer, you can then back off and just resolve to do your part at the event to make it a success.
Remember...to have friends, you must be a friend. So, even if you hate outdoor picnics and your friend plans to have one, put on your most cordial face, lots of sunscreen and bug repellent and go to the picnic.